Missing
by SPNlover308
Summary: Taylor’s eyes filled with tears. No one would miss her when this was over and she knew it. She wasn’t worth it. Songfic.
1. Missing

**This an oneshot based on the song "Missing" by Evanescence. I also got a little bit of inspiration from the song "Hello" by Evanescence for Eric's part. I would have put the lyrics in there but I was too lazy. Lol. So just either listen to the songs while reading or imagine they are there. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, it would be awesome if I did though……**

Taylor held the razor over her wrist, shaking as a million thoughts raced through her head. It was all a lie. She wasn't perfect, she was the exact opposite. She had been so close for so long and her mom's biting words had just pushed her too far. She had literally felt herself break and die inside. The words rang through her head. _Taylor can't you do anything right! You messed everything up! Just leave, I won't miss you! _Taylor's eyes filled with tears. No one would miss her when this was over and she knew it. She wasn't worth it. She never had been. Her parents split because of her and she ruined her mother's life. She tried to put on a mask and hide her pain which made people hate her more. Suddenly a sob rose from her throat. Could she do this? She felt herself sink to her knees. She dropped the razor and pressed her hand to her mouth has she starting crying. What was she doing? Was she that pathetic? She felt the emotions and memories she tried to forget come to the surface. She just wanted it to end. She wanted to make it stop. She tried to take a deep breath and pick up the razor again. It will all be better once this is over. That's at least what she told herself as she pressed the razor into her skin.

* * *

Eric was sitting in his room trying to muster up the courage to call Taylor. She had been really distant lately and he wanted to know if she was okay. Of course last time he asked her she blew up at him and slapped him, but he didn't care. That just made him more worried. He jumped as the phone in his hands started to ring, piercing his thoughts. "Hello?" He asked into the receiver. He was surprised to hear Nathan's shaky voice.

"I...I think you should come to the hospital." Nathan said his voice thick with emotion. Eric's eyes widened.

"What…What's wrong!?" He asked, the panic clear in his voice. Hospitals were never good. He hated them. He remembered when he had gotten a call very similar to this but from a police officer. He had wanted him and his father to come to the hospital to identify the body of his mom. Eric did not like hospitals.

"Taylor…you should get here….now," Nathans voice was a whisper by the end and the line went dead. Eric felt the phone slip from his hands. He closed his eyes refusing to believe what he had just heard. He quickly headed downstairs.

"Where are you going!?" His father asked angrily. Eric didn't answer, he just walked out the door, not even thinking about what would be waiting for him when he got back.

He got to the hospital as fast as he could. When he walked through the door he saw how all six of them were there. Melissa made eye contact with him, tears sliding down her face. He silently begged her to say something to make this better but she just shook her head. "Hey man," Nathan said as he came up to them. "She's not doing to good," Nathan said softly.

"But, what…how…," Eric couldn't seem to get the words out. Then the doctor came out. Eric recognized the look immediately and did not want to hear what this doctor had to say. The doctor didn't seem to care what Eric wanted though because he opened his mouth and told them all anyway. Eric felt his heart beat painfully and closed his eyes. He then walked out the door into the cold night air. It started to rain as he slid down the side of the building. He felt the icy water pelt his skin as thunder boomed in the distance. He put his head in his hands and realized the weight of what he'd just heard. She wasn't breathing. She was gone. Why would she do this? Why would she leave him like this?

**ONE YEAR LATER……………..**

Eric stood in front of the headstone, the only one still there. They had all said what they needed and left. He sighed running a hand through his hair. It was the anniversary of her death. He hated her for it. She had been selfish and heartless. She had no idea what he had been through this past year. With all the questions at school, the therapy sessions, and his friends watching him like he might break at any moment. Even his dad had been nicer to him than usual. They didn't understand he wasn't broken; a part of him had died with her. Then he felt the salty tears leak down his face. He was on his knees in an instant. He didn't hate her and he knew it. He _loved _her and he had never told. "I miss you, so much." He gasped, his voice breaking. He didn't know if she could hear him but he hoped she knew. The reason she was gone was because she thought nobody would. Oh how he hated irony and how she loved it. They were so different yet so similar. He would, _**could**_, never forget her. He promised her that as he got off his knees, turned away from the headstone, and walked away.

**So review and tell me what you think. I know it's depressing but so is the song. Plus I love writing depressing stuff. I plan to write an alternate ending to this using the song "The Last Night" by Skillet. It will be happier I promise.**


	2. The Last Night

**This is the alternate ending to Missing. I just couldn't leave it like I did. It's a songfic to the song "The Last Night" by Skillet.**

Taylor held the razor over her wrist, shaking as a million thoughts raced through her head. It was all a lie. She wasn't perfect, she was the exact opposite. She had been so close for so long and her mom's biting words had just pushed her too far. She had literally felt herself break and die inside. The words rang through her head. _Taylor can't you do anything right! You messed everything up! Just leave, I won't miss you! _Taylor's eyes filled with tears. No one would miss her when this was over and she knew it. She wasn't worth it. She never had been. Her parents split because of her and she ruined her mother's life. She pretended to be stuck up and dumb at school to hide her pain which made people hate her. Suddenly a sob rose from her throat. Could she do this? She felt herself sink to her knees. She dropped the razor and pressed her hand to her mouth as she starting crying. What was she doing? Was she that pathetic? She felt all the emotions and memories she tried to forget come to the surface. She just wanted it to end. She wanted to make it stop. She tried to take a deep breath and pick up the razor again. It will all be better once this is over. That's at least what she told herself as she pressed the razor into her skin.

* * *

Eric was sitting in his room trying to muster up the courage to call Taylor. She had been really distant lately and he wanted to know if she was okay. Of course last time he asked her she blew up at him and slapped him, but he didn't care. That just made him more worried. "Eric, get down here now!" His father's loud voice rang through the house, bringing Eric out of his thoughts. He then headed down the stairs to see his father sitting on the couch watching TV. His father gestured towards the door and Eric sighed. His dad wouldn't even get off the couch to get the door. He then walked over to the door and pushed it open. He was surprised to see a soaked Taylor standing there. He opened his mouth to say something then he saw the deep red scars across her wrists.

"Taylor?" He asked softly. She whimpered then shivered from the cold. He didn't want her to have to stand out in the cold but no way was he letting his dad see her. He then stepped out into the pouring rain and closed the door behind him. He wrapped his arms around her feeling just how small her body was. "What's wrong?" He whispered. He felt her shudder against him.

"I had to say goodbye, I couldn't leave without saying goodbye." She cried into his shoulder. He pulled back from her to look her in the eyes. "I'm fine; I just needed to see you." She said not meeting his ocean-blue eyes. But he knew it was a lie.

"What do you mean goodbye? Taylor what's going on?" Eric asked squeezing her arm a little for comfort. She finally met his eyes and he could see the pain and anguish fighting beneath the surface.

"I can't do it anymore. This is the last night. I want it to end." She said determination clear in her voice. His eyes widened. Then he was hugging her again.

"No, I don't care what your mom's been telling you. I don't care what your friends have said. It's not your fault. None of it is your fault. So don't you dare… don't say stuff like that, okay." He said his voice cracking near the end. "I need you, and I won't let you be alone again." He said with the same determination she had. It was her turn to be surprised. She pulled away this time, looking him straight in the eye.

"Why?" She asked softly. Her own blue eyes searched his for something she'd never noticed before.

"Why?" He said confused. "Because I love you," He finished simply. She gasped another sob tearing its way from her throat. He stepped closer to her until his face was only inches away. She thought he was going to kiss her so she closed her eyes. She was surprised when his lips just brushed against her forehead, pulling her against him again. He knew better than anyone, right now, she just needed a friend. So they stood there for what seemed like forever that night, the rain pelting against them as they held on to each other. A night that started out that last night of something turned into the first night of something new.

**I told you it would be happier. I think I like this version better just because no one dies. :) So review and tell me what you think.**


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